I'm finally street legal!

I'm sure everybody will be happy to note that my tricked out '95 Ford Escort LX (known as Tiny Dancer or Time Bomb) is now, for the first time since I've owned it, street legal. About a month and a half ago the law finally caught up with me and cited me for not having a front license plate. It was easy enough to get the new license plate but proved to be very difficult to actually put it on the car. I mean of course I never really tried to put it on my self but the two people who did had a hard time. Finally, my dad just power drilled it to my front bumper. And hey, that works for me.

Also, a very Happy New Year! The New Year is always a little hopeful and a little depressing. It's great because it's sort of a symbol of new beginnings, putting the past a little bit further behind or moving on to do new exciting things (like be a Senior Park Aide!). But then it can be depressing because I know I'm not going to stick to my resolutions to exercise and read more and blah blah blah. But hey, maybe 2008 really will be different! Be wishes and much happiness from the depths of my heart!

I am a Gourmet Chef!

Today's Lunch Special:

Microwaved cheese sandwich served open-faced on a hotdog bun. Enjoyed with a spoon.

Hey at least it's free! And actually it tasted really great! I'm cheap. And lazy.

O My G!

Wow, so like where did December go?! I wasn't even ready for Christmas until the 23rd and now it's done and gone. Dang it! I mean, I still had a good eventful time and I am so thankful for being able to spend time with family. Let's see, some of my best presents where a couple of gigantic National Geographic photography books (they weigh about 20lbs each!), a mini Swiss Army knife, and a hot pink fuzzy bathrobe from the cutest sister in the world.

I am hoping to post some pictures soon but the computer with the pictures doesn't have internet and vice versa. Keep your eyes out though.

Another totally random thing: I've been listening to Relient K a lot lately and they are fabulous. If you go to their website you can listen to some of their newest music for free! "Forgiven" is like the best ever.

Lastly, Happy Boxing Day!

I'm going to jail

This is just a post to say goodbye to all of my friends and family. You read it correctly, I'm awaiting an arrest. Any day now a police officer will come to get me. What was my crime? Fraud. Or racketeering. Either one... maybe both? So I have been helping with the Polar Express train ride event at the museum selling tickets and doing will call. What does that have to do with anything and why would I go to jail for that? Well, let me tell you. My accuser is a gentleman who ordered tickets for the Polar Express and was upset that he was charged a "shipping" charge when his tickets weren't actually shipped. They were put in will call, which it said on the website when the tickets were ordered and the fee is $3 for shipping or processing. Apparently it's fraud to charge a processing fee and call it shipping. Anyway, I'm off to jail, send me a care package.

For the Image Conscious

This blog has a lot to do with things I love. I'd like to introduce you to another love of mine: art. When I was in Spain this past January I had the priviledge of visiting some spectacular art museums, including the world famous Prado. It was here that I first laid my eyes on the real subject of this blog: Peter Paul Rubens' "The Three Graces." My understanding of the image is that the woman on the left was Rubens' first wife, the one on the right was his second wife, and the woman in the middle is the ideal combination of the two of them. Here is the image.



I mean check these ladies out! It looks like there is not an ounce of muscle on all of their bodies combined! Now, I'm not advocating that we stop exercising, I just love that these are the women that Rubens found to be beautiful. Being perfectly toned isn't everything. In fact, I'd like to start a movement. I'll call it "Embrace the Muffin Top!" Or maybe that's more of a slogan. But either way, I'd like to try to live my life being comfortable in my own skin. In fact, I like my little stomach! I don't have abs at all and it's fabulous! So ladies and gentlemen that is my charge to you, be like Peter Paul Rubens and Embrace the Muffin Top.

I just had a hankering...

So I like old school DC Talk, I'll be honest. I mean really who can resist? For some reason I was thinking of the song "That Kinda Girl," probably because it is so fantastic, and so I thought I would share the rap at the beginning with those of you who might be unfamiliar or those who would just like to be bask in its timeless glory. Of course it's not the same without the background guy responding to the lyrics as an anecdote but still, enjoy.

The other night I met a girl
And she looked to be so nice
I asked her for the digits
And she didn't think twice
A couple of days later called her up and asked her out
She said,"with you?" I said, "with me,"
And then she said, "without a doubt"
I took her to the Garden where
I guess they grow the Olives
She wore a tighter skirt
Than any I had seen in college
She said, "I love to smoke and drink
While cursing like a sailor"
I asked her where she got her mouth
And if she had a tailor
Finally I walked her to the door to say goodnight
She said, "I am an apple,Would you care to take a bite?"
Politely I refused and said, "I'm looking for a lady"
So she slapped me in my face and said,
"Boy, you must be crazy"

Naps, Glorious Naps

Naps are another thing I love. Sleep. It's so good! It's refreshing, relaxing and another great advantage is that it helps me avoid problems! A nap sounds sooo good... too bad I have to sell tickets to crazy people who want to visit a railroad museum on a rainy Tuesday afternoon.