Introspectacles

I am growing up. It's hard. I don't know if anyone else knew that but it's true. Sometimes it really stinks. You actually have to make decisions for yourself. They're supposed to be good decisions, too. Good decisions are harder to make than you might think. Recently, I decided to give up an addiction. I was addicted to a person. I spent a lot of time with him and still care about him a lot but the relationship just wasn't what it should be. Now I'm going through withdrawals. My heart breaks every day. More than once a day. I miss him. My consolation is that I think we will both learn a lot from the experience. I am spending a lot of time thinking about what kind of a person I am, what I can improve, what people in general are like. People are made to be together, that I know, but we're also so messed up. We're so complex, made up of so many conflicting emotions and experiences and all kinds of different influences. I know I am resilient though. I know it won't last forever, for either of us. I also have a fabulous support team, two people who love me probably as unconditionally as any human beings can. Rachel and Heather, I can't thank you enough.